How to Overcome Mental Barriers That Keep You From Getting What You Want in Life

Summary

This episode was a discussion between Kim Lisa Taylor, the founder of Syndication Attorneys, and Krisha Young, Business Development Director and Client Success Coach at the firm. The main topic was overcoming mental barriers that prevent people from achieving their goals, particularly in the context of real estate syndication. Krisha shared her background as a personal coach and holistic nutritionist, and discussed strategies for cultivating a growth mindset, becoming self-aware, reframing negative thoughts, and developing positive habits and routines. She and Kim introduced frameworks like the 'Miracle Morning' and Krisha’s own 'Pattern Release Coaching' model to help clients identify and overcome limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns. The discussion also touched on the importance of gratitude, pronoia (the opposite of paranoia), and living in alignment with one's values. Kim and Krisha emphasized the firm's commitment to supporting clients not just legally, but also in their personal and professional growth.

Interview Highlights

 Q: What are mental barriers?

A: Mental barriers are fears, doubts, worries, or past programming that come up and make someone feel incapable or not good enough, blocking them from achieving their goals.

Q: What role do habits and routines play in overcoming mental barriers?

A: Developing healthy habits and routines creates an ecosystem that supports personal growth and overcoming barriers. Practices like gratitude, affirmations, and following a framework like the Miracle Morning can help shift one's mindset.

Q: What are some common misconceptions that hold people back?

A: Common misconceptions include equating failure with being a failure, perfectionism leading to procrastination, and a victim mentality of life happening 'to' them.

Q: How do you cultivate more positive self-talk?

A: Becoming aware of negative self-talk through journaling, reframing it with counter-phrases or affirmations, and understanding where it originates can help replace it with positive self-talk.

Q: What are some tools to get past self-imposed barriers?

A: Tools include journaling, observing body sensations, gaining clarity on the root causes, taking ownership through personal responsibility, and continuously refining the process with compassion.

Q: Can you discuss the framework you use with coaching clients?

A: Krisha uses a 5-stage 'Pattern Release Coaching' framework: 1) Awareness, 2) Observation, 3) Clarity, 4) Ownership, and 5) Refinement, layering in different tools at each stage.

Action Items

·      Become aware of mental barriers and negative self-talk through journaling

·      Observe where you feel those thoughts/emotions in your body

·      Take ownership and responsibility for creating the life you want

·      Continuously refine the process, using tools like affirmations, vision boards, breath work, etc.

·      Consider attending the firm's mastermind program for personal and professional growth support

·      Potentially attend a future workshop on creating a life/business plan

·      Read recommended books like The Miracle Morning and Dare to Lead

·      Reach out to Krisha or the team for coaching or strategy sessions

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Transcript

Krisha Young:

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Raise Capital Legally podcast and YouTube channel, where we talk about topics of interest to real estate syndicators and fund managers, with an opportunity for live questions and answers before we sign off. I'm Krisha Young, co-host and Business Development Director — and Client Success Coach today — for the firm. And this is Kim Lisa Taylor, the founder of syndicationattorneys.com. Before we get started, please note that audio and video from this event will be posted on our podcast platform, YouTube channel, website, and social media, and will be made available to the public. You can ask questions at the end of the broadcast by raising your hand or typing it in the Q and A, and we will answer. Information discussed during this event is of a general, educational nature and should not be construed as legal advice. 

So, it's kind of weird, today our topic is me … not really, it's “How to Overcome Mental Barriers That Keep You From Getting What You Want in Life.” Kim, I'll hand it over to you for a quick sec.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Yeah, okay.

Krisha Young:

You can introduce me.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Thank you, guys. If you don't know Krisha, she joined our team, gosh, a little less than a year ago.

Krisha Young:

Yeah, July.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Yeah, so almost a year. She's been doing some great things. She participates in all of our weekly client Masterminds, and whenever there's a touchy-feely question I say, "Well, ask her." Right? Because I'm going to give you guys the blunt legal answer or I might just say, "No." She'll say it much more gently.

Anyway, we've found some really great synergy, and we wanted to be able to share some of her hidden talents with you because I think she's an untapped resource that our firm has, that perhaps makes us a little unique in the marketplace, but also, she's a very unique person with some great talents that I think can be really beneficial to a lot of our clients. Because it's so hard to get into the right — I'm not going to say those words — but it's so hard just to get into the right framework so that you are comfortable talking to investors, or brokers, or lenders, sellers, whoever it is you need to talk to, to make your business move forward in a real estate context, and maybe in some other areas of your life as well.

Anyway, so we'll go ahead and get started. I just thought it'd be great to share this with you guys, and I hope you get a lot out of it. So Krisha…

Krisha Young:

Yes, Kim?

Kim Lisa Taylor:

How did you get started? So you have a background as a personal coach; tell us about that and how you got started with that.

Krisha Young:

Yeah. First of all, I just want to say how grateful I am to be here. Thank you, Kim, for recognizing what can be given to our clients to really help them step into their identity as a syndicator, and that's what I'm excited to talk about today, is how the listeners can do that. 

So my journey started like everybody. I just had this maze of personal and professional challenges that I was experiencing, where I wasn't hitting the goals that I wanted to, and I was frustrated in my life, and I started to really dive in and explore personal development in a very deep way, and I turned it into a career. I was in corporate before, working for top companies in Canada, and I was just not fulfilled, and I really wanted to help people.

I opened up my doors as a holistic nutritionist, and that venue opened up my eyes to things like energy work and emotional intelligence, and somatic therapy, that really gave me these tools and skill sets to be able to help myself transform into the person I am today, and who I continue to evolve into being, and give my clients really unique tools to be able to move through their own patterns to step into their greatness. So I've been doing this for — professionally — about a decade, and I absolutely love it. Once upon a time, my clients used to call me the “sabotage slayer.”

Kim Lisa Taylor:

That's cool.

Krisha Young:

I love helping people slay their sabotages.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

I like that a lot. I think you need a new outfit for that, right?

Krisha Young:

Yeah, right.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

So what are mental barriers? What are we talking about when we're using that term?

Krisha Young:

What we want to do is, let's think about this as a little bit of a video game. So when we're playing a video game, or a hero's journey, or something like that, we're kind of meandering around the path, and then all of a sudden something comes and knocks us out; that's a mental barrier. It's something that is sneaky. It is a fear. It's a doubt. It's a worry. It's some past programming that comes up and kind of blindsides us, and makes us feel like we're not good enough, or we're not capable, or we can't do this thing or whatever. I call it “the lie that feels like the truth.” It feels so true inside of us that we can't do this thing or whatever it is, but it's a lie, and it's a barrier that blocks us from actually stepping into the thing that we say that we want to do.

Carl Jung says, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you'll call it fate." He did a lot of work on shadow work, which is basically your unconscious. It's these barriers that are buried really deep in there, and you need to think about it like they're very past old programming, and it's almost like a 5-year-old is driving your life all of a sudden. You're like cruising along and you're doing so good, and then you hit up against something — like talking to an investor, or somebody says no to you, or whatever, or you're like, "Oh, my gosh, this is daunting" — and then you kind of go into that 5-year-old self, and now the 5-year-old is driving, and you're just like, "Ah." So you want to bring that to your forefront, those mental barriers to your forefront, so you can expose them for what they are, the lies that feel like the truth, and then heal them and move into the identity that you're trying to step into.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Let's not get too far ahead. So what I'm hearing here is sometimes we hear people talk about negative self-talk, where all of a sudden that little voice goes in your head like, "You can't do this. What are you thinking? You're crazy." Maybe it was a parent. Honestly, I had a parent my whole entire life that used to tell me, "At the rate you're going, you're not going to get through high school. At the rate you're going, you're not going to get into college. At the rate you're going, you're never going to graduate from college. At the rate you're going, you're never going to get a job in your career, and at the rate you're going, you're just never going to accomplish anything." I think he said that to some of my other siblings too, some of whom listened to him. I got mad, I just said, "Yeah, screw you. I can show you I can do whatever I want."

My mom died when I was really young, but she told me I could do anything, so I decided, "All right." Even though she wasn't there, I'm still listening to her because she said I could do anything. So sometimes it's just like who do you choose to listen to, and maybe it's not even someone in your own past, but somebody you can manifest, someone you admire that you can bring in and say, "Hey, what would this person do, and what would they be saying to me?" That's a lot like Napoleon Hill said in Think and Grow Rich. When he created his old Mastermind concept, he had a round table of Mastermind attendees of these great, great thinkers, and he would have conversations as if they were telling him their thoughts on what he should be doing, and he used that to propel himself forward. We can all learn from that and do that, too. I think this is just completely amazing. It's a little woo-woo for me, but I know it works, and so I'm glad that you guys all came to listen.

All right, so is this the same thing as mindset or are we talking about two different things?

Krisha Young:

No, we're talking about two different things here. Mindset is the overarching, sort of, what do you want to call it? The big picture, the lens for where these barriers live. There's two different kinds of mindsets that we can look into here: There's a fixed mindset and then there's a growth mindset. When we're looking at a fixed mindset this is somebody who is like, "This is how things are. It just is the way it is. I can't change. I won't change. This is just it." Where do you go with that? You can't go anywhere with that, versus a growth mindset that is open and curious, and like, "Oh, dang, I can see where I'm holding myself back,” or, “I can see where this thing is, and I really want to change it, and it's okay that I change it. It's okay. It's safe for me to change this."

I'm glad that you brought up Think and Grow Rich, because I do believe that that book kind of gives you the roadmap, that Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill gives you the roadmap to go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. I believe that that's pretty much in its entirety what it's telling you to do: "Stop thinking this way, start thinking this way." Stop being so limited in your thinking, start being more open in your thinking, there's a world of possibilities out there. I skew to the growth mindset very much, but, and I also have a very fixed mindset. My kids will tell you, my partner will tell you, we have both in us, and it's like just when somebody brings that to your attention, then you can go, "Okay, well, what are my mental barriers? What are my blocks? What are my fears? What are my doubts that are standing in the way for me growing in this area of my life?"

Kim Lisa Taylor:

So mindset is — if I can condense what I think you said, and you can completely correct me if I'm wrong — is that's our belief system. It's kind of the basis where we're at, whereas mental barriers are these things that crop up in the way and then stop us, and we say, "Well, that all sounds really easy, but I'll never be able to do that." I remember hearing one time that everything is possible or everything is possible as long as there's just one miracle, Big Bang Theory, we all exist because there was one miracle. So how do we get past that so that we don't have to have that miracle thinking, we know that it's really things that we can go through step by step? Isn't that what you're saying when you're talking about slaying these sabotages?

Krisha Young:

Yeah, absolutely. Right. So take an assessment. Are you feeling fixed in every single area of your life? Do you honestly believe that change is not possible? Or are you like, "No, I don't like this thing. I don't like how this is going in my life, and I am open to change"? It's ego. It's the willingness to admit you might not be right, but then it's doing the work in order to transform that within yourself. If you have a rich environment for that within yourself, to be open to make that change, then the barriers — I call it like whack-a-mole — a barrier will come up, you're playing whack-a-mole, and then another one comes up in its place, you play whack-a-mole. It's just constant, and it's an evolution, and it's never going to end, but you get better at it over time if you can cultivate a rich growth mindset.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Well, and I think every time you overcome one of those barriers it builds your confidence. Then when those negative thoughts come up, you can say, "No, that's not right, because you told me that before and I did it anyway, so I'm not listening to you again."

Krisha Young:

Exactly. That's where the lie that feels like the truth becomes the lie. You see it as a lie.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Yeah. That's amazing.

Krisha Young:

My dad said that about me.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Yeah, that's right. So what are some common misconceptions that you hear from people that stop them from achieving their ...

Krisha Young:

Oh, my gosh. That if you fail at something that you're a failure, right? No, not true. Perfectionism actually is a big one that I see in a lot of my clients because they're very smart, very, very smart, successful people, and when they are trapped in perfectionism, then they don't move forward. It turns into procrastination. It turns into all the reasons why you can't. So if you're looking for perfect, you're just never going to find it; you have to just look at progress, not perfection. Then the belief system which is very rich in a fixed mindset about, "Life happens to me. This is happening to me. Why me? It's not my fault, it's their fault," which is very prevalent. We all have that in us, but if we are really sunk in that, then now this is going to stop you from being able to move forward into something that's richer into that growth. Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for…

Kim Lisa Taylor:

I remember when I was a kid — and Krisha, this is going to date me — but when I was a kid we had blacklights, and we had these blacklight posters. One of the ones that we always had on our wall — my sister and I shared a bedroom — was the two vultures, they were standing on a branch looking down into this desert and nothingness, and one of them says to the other, "Hell, I'm not waiting. I'm going to go kill something." Because they're vultures, they're waiting for something to die so they can eat it, and they're like, "Yeah, no, I'm not just going to wait. I'm just going to go kill something, and get this over with so we can have some food." So I kind of adopted that mindset early on, it's like, "Yeah, I'm not waiting for things to happen. I'm going to make them happen." So whatever it is, I'm just going to forge ahead.

I also have learned from some of our immigrant clients — clients that come here from other places — they've just done some amazing things. Vinney Chopra is a perfect example of that. We have some other clients. In fact, we're going to be interviewing one of those people very soon on one of our podcasts, but what they think is that they're coming here to the land of opportunity — America, the land of opportunity — and they believe all things are possible so they just forge ahead. I think Vinney came here with $7 in his pocket and just, "I'm going to set the world on fire. I'm going to achieve all these different dreams and goals." He didn't see any of those impediments that we, sometimes, as Americans, we grew up, we're used to rules and following rules, and being told no, that you can't do this, and you can't do that, so I think sometimes we get stuck in that.

Then we're worried about being sued, or we're worried about our reputation, or we're worried about something, some fear of something that could happen in the future that these immigrants, they don't even know those fears are out there so they just forge ahead, and they are sometimes just wildly, wildly successful. I had a client that came here with $25 in his pocket, and he and his brother owned multiple truck stops around the country and made a huge success of it. I've just seen that happening again and again, so sometimes when we get stuck, I try to think, "What would I do if I was just immigrating to the U.S. and I believed all things were possible? Just keep going. Don't worry about it. You'll get through it. You'll whack down those barriers as they come up, and you'll just keep getting through it." 

All right, that's amazing. So what role do habits and routines play in overcoming mental barriers?

Krisha Young:

So think about it this way, if you want a hot summer bod, you want a hot body, or you want to be healthy, you don't go to the gym once, you don't just drink a glass of water once, you need to have healthy habits and routines. You need to go to the gym. You need to walk every day or do some squats, and eat a salad. Those are things that you need to do on a daily basis in order to develop the ecosystem. So that's what we're talking about here, is what is your ecosystem? You need to develop a healthy ecosystem in order for things to thrive. So if you're feeding yourself junk food every single day and you're sedentary, your ecosystem is going to be reflective of that, but if you're feeding yourself really healthy foods, and you're drinking water, and you're enjoying nature, now your ecosystem is going to be flourishing in a different kind of way. It's the same thing with this topic.

So if you're constantly thinking negative thoughts and believing those lies, and having that fixed mindset, then you're just going to continue getting what you've always got. But if you start to develop some tools and strategies — and I have a framework that I take people through that has tools in it, and I like using a framework rather than just tools, because tools can vary from person to person — but if you have a framework where you can see your progress, and you are an active participant in creating the abundance within your life, now you're creating an ecosystem that feels really good, and really exciting, and really nourishing for you, and then you're going to want to keep doing that more and more and more. You actually recommended this book, the Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Yes.

Krisha Young:

Really great place to start if you're new to this, he calls it SAVERS. The way I operate is I read all the things, and then I synthesize it, so I have this massive well and toolbox, and so when somebody comes to me, I listen to them and I hear where they're at, and how busy they are, and what they like, what they've tried in the past, blah, blah, and then we set up a custom plan for them. So it's not like you have to do these three things, you have to wake up at five in the morning, who wants to do that? Not everybody. So it's adapting to whatever it is that you enjoy doing. So take that Miracle Morning concept and apply it to yourself in using tools that you feel are moving the needle forward for you toward a growth mindset, toward feeling better about yourself. It's all about feeling better about ourselves.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Yeah, and I'm really glad you mentioned that Miracle Morning. It is funny because before you even said I had written it down like, "This is what we need to tell everybody about." Some of you probably already know that book. I used it when I was in a really dark place, and needed to get out of my head and keep moving forward. I was really depressed over some things that were happening in my life, and started using these SAVERS, and it really lifted me out of that doldrum, and got me back into that mindset of growth and moving forward, and not staying stuck in one place. The only reason I was there was because I put myself there, and I was the only one that could dig myself out, and that Miracle Morning gave me the tools in order to dig myself out.

I highly recommend that book for anybody that feels stuck, or if you feel a little depressed, or you feel like you're not making the right progress, it can help you just kind of reformat your brain so that you start thinking a little differently, and you stop being stuck in that place. I think it's fantastic for that, and it certainly helped a lot of people. The author has his own amazing story about how he even came up with it, and how it worked for helping him overcome some very real and tragic circumstances in his life, that he then turned into something positive that he could now share, and help so many other people with theirs. Somebody asked if we could repeat the book name. It's called the Miracle Morning, and it's by Hal Elrod. It's available on — he may have his own website, I'm not sure — but I'm sure it is available on Amazon. I'm going to put it in the chat, if you guys can see this, Elrod.

Krisha Young:

I have it.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

It's a great book. Definitely. You can do it every day. He claims you can do it all within an hour or you can take longer, but it's really just kind of giving you a bunch of little tools, and just kind of nitpicking away at all those little things that are holding you back. I think it really works for that. 

Okay, well that's awesome. So can you discuss how do you cultivate more positive self-talk? I guess that book would be one way, but what are some tools that you share with your coaching clients?

Krisha Young:

Like I've mentioned before, I take my clients through a framework — which I'll talk about in a minute in more detail, and apply it to our listeners when it comes to doing a syndication — but it's like becoming aware, aware, aware of that inner dialogue. One of the things in Miracle Morning is scribing, which is another word for journaling, and just writing down what is this thing in your head saying, what's it saying about you. So becoming aware, putting it on paper and just being like, "Wow, would I talk to my dog like this? Would I talk to my daughter like this? Would I talk to my best friend like this? Probably not." So it's bringing awareness. Awareness is my first step in the process that I use, and then reframing that.

So when I'm working one-on-one with somebody, we come up with customized counter-phrases or affirmations, or whatever you want to call it for that particular statement, and then we go deep. As part of the coaching work, we go deep into like, "Okay, where is that coming from? Let's get that out of your nervous system, and work on the somatic and the energetics of it all." But that's way beyond what we're talking about here. So it's awareness, become aware, "Holy crap, you again? Are you for real? I wouldn't say that to my enemy. Why are you saying that to me? Nah-uh." You just got to start to create separation because it's the lie that feels like the truth, so it feels so good. As soon as you can create a little bit of separation, that tiny little bit of light between those two concepts, then you can be like, "Oh, okay," and then you can work on that particular negative thought.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

That sounds like such a great idea, because once you confront it and you realize that it's just all in your mind, and nobody would ever say that to you, and why are you saying it to yourself, then you can be like, "Banished. I'm not saying that anymore. I'm not going to believe that anymore." I like that a lot. So awareness is huge, getting self-aware, and a lot of people aren't self-aware inherently. I happen to be one of the lucky people that looks and laughs at myself. I also, like you mentioned earlier, I don't mind being proved wrong because when I'm being proved wrong, when somebody tells me I'm wrong about something, I just learn something. It's like I learn so many things from just having that, "I don't care, tell me I'm wrong. Okay. Yeah, you're right."

So I learn so many new things from all the people I encounter every day, clients and potential clients, staff, and my staff constantly, they have total permission to tell me I'm wrong, and they do regularly, so that's okay. In fact, I have given them permission to fire me, so if I'm ever not here, you'll know what happened. Anyway, what are a couple of tools that people can use to get past these self-imposed barriers?

Krisha Young:

Before we go there, there's just a couple little things for this thought thing, practicing gratitude and celebrating your wins, that's really important. Gratitude is the elixir of this life, if you can get into gratitude, and it's not ... There's a grocery gratitude list, "I love my dog, I love my house, I la-la-la," where there's no connection to it, versus true gratitude where you're like, imagine a time when you're just like, "Oh," so reverent, so like, "Ahh," that is gratitude, and having that, cultivating that every day, every moment or as much as you possibly can, is what's going to help you shift. I want to introduce a term, pronoia, this is the opposite of paranoia.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Okay.

Krisha Young:

Pronoid … then we are now expecting the best to happen rather than expecting the worst. We are such, "Oh, my gosh, the shoe is going to drop. The worst is going to happen," that is how we're wired, and we're wired this way, this is our brain and our nervous system. We are wired this way for a reason, but we don't really need to be this way as big as we are anymore, so we can start now stepping into pronoia. I love that word, and I just wanted to share that with everybody here.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

I love that. I know somebody who's practiced that their whole entire life, that was my stepmother. She didn't come into my life until I was well into my 30s, but she had so much amazing wisdom. She had this mindset that we'd go somewhere and there would be a raffle, and she'd get indignant that she didn't win, like, "How come I didn't win that? I should have won that. I was supposed to win that," and she won so many times. I saw her beat leukemia just by saying, "No, this isn't happening to me. I'm not ready to go yet. I'm way too young. I've got too many things to do." She had cards coming, pouring in, all these people whose lives she had positively impacted, the hospital staff was astounded, it covered an entire wall, and they're like, "We've never seen anything like this before." Because people were just like, "You know, you're not going to die. We've got too much going on here." She cured herself, literally. The doctors were amazing. She's now 92.

I just saw her last week and she's amazing, so it does work. She just always had this, "Not going to be me, and yeah, I'm a winner. I'm always going to win. I always do," and that worked for her. My husband has this thing where he always thinks we're going to get front parking spot. Then he sends this butterfly ahead of us to find the perfect parking spot, but what he says is in order to find the perfect parking spot, you have to drive to the front of the store or wherever you're going. So, then I'll start saying, "Well, there's a parking spot right there, and there's one there," and he gets really angry at me because he says, "You're interfering with the butterfly, and she's not going to find our spot now. So you just stay out of it and she's going to find our spot." So many times he just drives right to the front, and he gets that spot. It's pretty amazing. He learned it from his grandmother, and his mother.

I'm the little negative self-talk, "Well, just park here," like, "No, no, we're going to the front." So you can use it in so many little aspects of your lives. If you have children, you can teach the stuff to them so that they don't grow up with the same negative thoughts and habits that you might've created in your own life, that they can replace those with positive things. I think that's really cool. 

So tell us some of the tools that people can use to get past these self-imposed barriers.

Krisha Young:

What I want to do is I like to give people a map, because like I said earlier, the tools are interchangeable. We can do different things at different times to move the needle forward, but what I have found over the years of coaching people, is that if we're just giving them tools, then they're just like, "Well, I don't see a result, so I'll throw my hands up." It's because this stuff takes time, and it's a spiral staircase, and you might shed something over here, but still have something over here. So I've got a framework, I call it “pattern release coaching,” and it goes through five stages. 

The first stage, which we've already talked about, is awareness, so this is where you're becoming aware of the issue. I want to put this into context for the people who are listening or watching.

So we've got somebody who's stepping into their identity as a syndicator. They might be super professional in their day job. They might already be a real estate professional, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or something, have connections, be really like a rock star in that part of their lives, but now they're stepping into securities laws, potential fraud, material claims, material facts, notices, distributions, all this stuff that we, as a law firm, help people with in terms of keeping them legally sound, and creating a really successful syndication business for themselves. Now that's stepping into a brand new identity, so communicating with investors, networking — we talk a lot about this, having these conversations with investors — and this can seem really daunting. So now cue all of these sabotages, all of these moles that are coming up, and sometimes you don't even know that they're there, so the first thing: Become aware. Admit that you're afraid, admit that you're taking on something new and start journaling. Just be aware of that.

The book that I love is Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Dr. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. This book is really great in helping people become aware, self-aware around some of these concepts. 

The next step would be observation. Now you want to study yourself like a scientist, and you want to now tune into your body sensations, and this can all be done in your Miracle Morning if you want. So like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm having this thought. I'm totally afraid. I do not want to ‘smile and dial.’ I do not want to go and give this webinar to these investors. I don't know what I'm doing. I haven't done this before." Whatever the self-talk is, where do you feel that in your body? Do you feel it here? Do you feel it in your stomach? Because our nervous system, this is somatic work, and this is what's missing sometimes out there when people are trying to make changes, it's in your body.

Now your body is going “bzbzbzbzbzbz” and if you're not aware of that, then you're going to stop. It's going to stop you from moving forward because you're going to freeze. You're going to be in freeze or fight. You're going to be in a nervous system that doesn't allow you to move forward. So become aware of it all, observe what's happening, and make notes on all of this.

And then you move into clarity. This is now where you all of a sudden become clear. You're like, "Oh, my gosh, I can see now. This is coming from when my dad used to say these things to me. I don't need this anymore," or whatever. "Now I'm clear, I'm clear on what it is, why I'm doing this. I'm clear on what it is that I want," so now you can do affirmations. See how the tools are layering in on this? Now you can do some affirmations. You can put … create a vision board or whatever you want to do at that point.

And then you move into ownership, and I love ownership. Ownership is where you change from that “to me” mindset into that “for me” mindset, where you become that vulture that we talked about before, that like, "I want this. Yeah, I've got fears. Yeah, I know who I am. Yeah, I know that I can be indignant. Yeah, I know I can talk over people. Yeah, I know I can do these things, and I'm working on it, and I feel way more confident in myself now because I'm seeing all my patterns, and I'm not getting blindsided by myself." You're not cutting your knees out from under you. I love Brené Brown's work, Dare to Lead is really great for moving you into ownership, really taking personal responsibility for where you are in your life, and creating that life for yourself.

Then lastly, is refinement, and this is where you're letting go of that perfection we talked about before. It's a spiral staircase — you're going to go around, you're going to hit it again; you're going to go around, you're going to hit it again — but every time you're getting better at moving through it because you now have this massive skillset, all of these tools. It's like, "Oh, yeah, I just have to journal about this," and, "Oh, yeah, I just have to do some breath work or movement, or observe myself, or go for a run, or get into nature, or talk to my therapist or my coach," whatever it is. All of these different tools you now have in your tool belt, and so when you hit up against the thing again you can pull that out, and just be compassionate and gentle with yourself, and say, "Oh, yeah, been here, done that. Cool. Know the map. I just got to go all the way back to awareness now." So I like that.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Sometimes you just have to do what people tell you to do. I've tried every diet under the sun, and they all work if you do exactly what they tell you to do, but I learned a long time ago that Weight Watchers doesn't work for me because I refuse to record my food. So I have to find a different way to keep track of the food that I eat because I already know that if somebody told me, "You're going to die if you don't record your food," I would be like, "Okay, see you. It's been fun." Because I know I won't record my food to save my life, and so that's just me, but there's other things that I could do. I can weigh my food, I can portion-control, I can do all these other things, and I can either integrate it into that system or find a different system that works better for me.

So you really have to take everything that you learned — whether it's from your books, whether it's from a coach, whether it's from a personal development coach, someone like Krisha who's going to help you figure out what those things are —  and you just have to figure out how to make it work for you. I would say that even happened to me earlier today. 

Before I say that, let me just remind everybody that you can ask questions, if you want to raise your hand or if you want to type a question into the Q and A, we are happy to take questions here in just a couple of minutes.

But I've been listening to this really great book that one of my coaches told me to read called Living Forward. What it does is it makes you create a life plan for yourself, and it makes you categorize these different aspects of your life, and what you want to have happen in each one of them, and kind of assess where you're at in the things that you have, your relationships at home, your work environment, your finances, all these different aspects of our lives. It helps you kind of figure out what are the categories most people use. When I was listening to it today, they were saying, "Well, once you write your life plan, you need to take eight-hour day and you need to write it, and then you need to review it daily for 90 days, and then you need to review it monthly, and then you need to review it, and then revise it quarterly, and then you need to do annually." I am driving, saying, "There's no way in the world I'm going to do any of that. I'm just not going to do that."

But then I shifted my thinking, and I started thinking, "Well, how could I make this work? How could I make it work in a way that I would do it?" So I came up with some ideas for myself that would be like, "Okay, this I can do." I know, I've written marketing plans before. I've written business plans before. I haven't looked at them in like two or three years, since the last time somebody forced me to do one. So those long written plans, they don't work, but there are tools and things out there that can actually help. We're actually thinking about doing a workshop for our clients or anybody that wants to come, where we can help you create kind of a condensed version of that life plan, of your business plan, of how you're going to find deals, and your investor marketing plan, and how you're going to find and cultivate those relationships with investors. So if any of you are interested in that, we'd love to have your feedback in the chat on whether you think that would be something that you'd like to know more about.

But I do want to tell you, go to our website if you haven't been there in a while, we're constantly putting up new content. You do have an opportunity to get a free copy of one of our books. I happen to have one of the latest one right here. In fact, this one is getting ready to come out on Audible, so keep an eye out for that. We're just in the final stages of getting it uploaded and published right now, and then we'll let you know when it's all available. We want to make sure that everybody has the book in any form that they want it in, so we're going to have an opportunity for you to get that for free. At our website right now, we'll mail you a physical copy of it; if you don't already have one and you want to sign up for that, that's great.

We’ve talked a little bit about our Mastermind, so if any of you aren't already clients who are participating in our Masterminds, we have a Pre-Syndication Agreement —  it's very low cost — that will get you in with us. You can have a client success call with Krisha, or investor marketing plan template strategy session with Charlene. You can have a one-on-one call with me or Mola, the securities attorneys, so that we can help you strategize where you are right now, what your next step should be, who you should be getting to help you propel forward along this journey. It's not always us, we have other resources and people, that's the whole point of this podcast, is to introduce you to all kinds of people along the way that can help you grow your business as your business starts to grow. So if you want to know more about the Pre-Syndication Agreement, you can go to our website and you can schedule a consultation with either Krisha or Charlene, and they can tell you all about that, and then with that, you get access to our weekly Masterminds for a year.

We're actually creating our own internal community of our hundreds and hundreds of clients, so we're just trying to get as many people as interested to participate, where you'll be able to exchange contact information, maybe you can co-GP deals together, maybe you can share information about best books, best resources, best contractors, things like that in certain areas, but we really encourage our clients to network with each other, and learn from each other. So that's the gist of our Mastermind, is to help answer your questions both legally, but also things about like what Krisha's talking about, what is it that's holding you back beyond just understanding the law or the deal structure? Or what are the barriers that are keeping you from getting where you want to go? We've had some really great success with that, and we have a lot of clients that come week after week. We do them every Wednesday right now, at noon Eastern Time.

Toward the end of the month, we're going to start a new ... we're actually launching Circle in July, so probably right after that launches we're going to start doing a second one in the evening, for any of you that can't come during the day, but we're also going to post all the old recordings with AI. We're integrating AI into our practices, so an AI summary so you can scan it and say, "Hey, is this one I want to listen to?" But they usually go about 90 minutes. We get a lot done. We cover a lot of topics in those meetings, and I think it's really helpful for a lot of people, and we love it. We love doing it. Anyway, I don't see any questions yet in the chat or in the raising hand, so I'm hoping that you guys are getting what you need out of this.

If you want to talk to Krisha about any of this, or figure out how to get a strategy session with her, you can contact her directly at krisha@syndicationattorneys.com — that's krisha@syndicationattorneys.com — and she can figure out how to get you guys what you need, and maybe talk to you a little bit about whatever personal issues you might want to help get past. But I do recommend the two books that we've talked about, Living Forward and The Miracle Morning. Living Forward is interesting because their whole premise is, unless you know what your destination is, then how are you ever going to get there? You could end up going down the wrong road because you just didn't really have your final destination in mind.

So we need to think about looking into the future, what do we want people … I mean, they even start with that, what do you want people to think about you after you're dead? What do you want them to say about you? What do you want people to feel about you? Beyond that, what do you want to do in between to make sure that that's a reality, and that you don't feel like you got cheated? One of the things I always tell myself, and my staff, and my clients: "Don't forget to live your life." You have to remember to live your life, someday you might wake up and realize that you didn't, and then you'll be sad and sorry that you didn't, and that you might've missed some really great things you could have been doing.

So there's always time to start, it's never too late, but sometimes ... What do you think? I think a lot of people just don't tell people. We talked about gratitude. I had that conversation just the other day with my husband, and I said, "I just love the life that we've created together. I love where we live. I love the lifestyle that we have. It's just really fantastic." Just saying those words can be so powerful for you and your relationships, and even just telling your kids, "I just love you so much and you're such a great person," can do wonders for them as well.

Krisha Young:

Yeah, and if we take that into, how does that feel? It's a very different feeling inside your body than like, "Oh, I hate this." So if we can feel that love, that's now changing that environment, it's changing that ecosystem for us, so now we're able to really tap into that excitement, and that enthusiasm toward building this life that we really want. I love using values. I do a lot of values work with people like, "What are your values? Are you living your values?" So when you're making these life plans, if you are following along, if you have your values following alongside, then when these opportunities come up, you can be like, "Okay, well, yeah, this aligns with my values. This is an integrity. This feels really good and positive for me." So if you are feeling really good and positive, then that's going to have this beautiful ripple effect to your partner, to your kids, to your work, to everything that you're bringing into this life, so there's the touchy-feely stuff for you.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Well, so if you want more of it, definitely talk to Krisha or Charlene about joining our Mastermind program. We'd love to see you there, actually having one this afternoon for the people that we've met this year, we'd like to show them a little bit about what our Masterminds are. We're just looking forward to talking to all of you, and helping you guys succeed in the business that you ...

Krisha Young:

Did we lose her? I lost her. Part of the issues we were having this morning was some internet issues on Kim's side, but I think we're still going. I think we're still recording and on here, and we're nearing the end of the hour, the top of the hour. So yeah, Kim's right, we really want to help you succeed, that's what we're here for, in every way, and that's why we have the programs that we have, and the support that we have and the team that we have, so please don't hesitate to reach out to any of us. Go to our website, you can schedule a call. You can still hear me. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you, Michael, for letting me know. You can schedule a call and chat with us about anything that we talked about here today. We're here to support you in your syndication journey, and ... Oh, she's back. Yay, you got back. I was just closing off.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Okay. All right. Well, that's awesome. Thanks everybody for coming today. I'm glad we were able to get as far as we did before my internet went wonky on us, but we look forward to talking to all of you at some point in the future.

Krisha Young:

Yeah, absolutely. All right, thank you. Thanks so much, Kim. Thanks for having me on.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Thanks, Krisha.

Krisha Young:

Bye, everyone.

Kim Lisa Taylor:

Bye.